The only thing the local government is in Morro Bay good at, is scrounging up federal and state funding for many of the expenses that accrue around here. Other than that, it seems like the only reason such a community even incorporates is just to fund their police and fire departments.
But when it gets down to it, the police and fire departments are the very things that screw up the place.
Last year I wrote about how the fire department screwed up the fireworks show by having the fireworks launched over by the boat ramp, a whole parking lot full of cars away from the Tideland’s Park where they have the people gather to watch them. And as they say, 7 out of the past 10 years, the fog rolls in and very few can even see the fireworks show. (Wouldn’t yah know, this year it was clear as a bell.)
Then when everyone gets up to leave, the cops had blocked of so many of the intersections on the Embarcadero, that all the cars plug up the only route out of the area. On their way out, they are set up with a shit load of stop signs that make leaving the place a long night in traffic which they would rather avoid the next year.
Now this year, the leadership opted to fill the pockets of a man who had a few lasers, instead of burning some sulfur and gun power.
However, it wasn’t more than ten minutes into the show before people got burned out on the America this and America that patriotism. It seemed like every country musician and along with John Meloncamp who managed to use the USA in their song must have got royalties from the evenings performance.
I myself, got so burned out on the freedom this and freedom that shit , that I got just plan queasy. Finally, the depressing expressionism was over along with its fake smelly fog and I could just stroll along home with the rest of the disenchanted crowd.
However, on our way down the street, we were enlightened to see that some folks have got their hand on some big time fireworks and as on women said, “Yeah, I kinna missed that smell of burning sulfur.”
Being right next to the sight where the small batches were launched, me and quite a few others, took to standing around and applauding the guys who had invested in the illegal contraband. Unfortunately, I could see red lenses on top of a white SUV with red strips in the distance.
When the vehicle got to where I was standing I could see a guy with gray hair who has a strong resemblance to the comic book figure who mumbles all the time on the _____ show. Apparently he was using the county owned vehicle to pack in his family in with half the neighborhood just to get a good parking spot for the laser show. He shops the vehicle in the middle of the road and opens his door right in front of me. He grabs his walkie talkie and I said, “Why don’t you go be a hero somewhere else.”
He said with a hyped out weeny of a voice, “Yes I will.”
I looked at his family and kids in the car and said, “What an idiot.”
Rules Number 21
Update: 7-9-09: Gee $25,000.00 for the laser show. Boy, my guess Morro Bay pretty much paid for the system. And oh, the laser I was standing by never even came on. If the guy was really smart, he would get the military to pay him as a recruter too.
Another update: I guess Morro Bay actually bought the laser show. Hah….
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